I write...
I sing...
I style...
I love, I breathe, I cry, I laugh...
I don't believe I belong "down here"...but I manage.
I AM.
I don’t work here
I must be honest…one of the main reasons I don’t enjoy coming “home” is because I don’t feel at home here. I haven’t felt this way for some years now. I guess I have outgrown the situation. Not to mention the fact that I am always delegated some chore when i’m here. Feels like i’m more of a worker than a family member. I don’t like that.
I don’t understand why it is that I have to wash clothes and clean in a home that is no longer mine? Granted, I do not mind helping out because I owe my parents that much. But every time I come home? Every single time? You couldn’t do these things before I arrived? You can’t ASK me to do something, rather than tell me? I’m not a small child, nor am I a resident of this household. I don’t have chores here anymore.
The lack of regard for what I want and how I feel has become extremely overwhelming over the years. So much to the point that it has made me revert back to being an angry individual and I do not enjoy being angry. I should not wake up in the morning and hear someone telling me what to do. What about what I want to do today? What if I wanted to leave the house (which is usually the case)…why does no one consider me?
This home is not my home anymore…and it will never be that again. I do not love here. I do not work here, either.
Time to get back to my words
I realize that it has been a while since I have actually written a piece for this blog. Quite honestly, I am disappointed in myself because of this. There have been numerous occasions where my word were all I had, yet I failed to release them from my thoughts into the keyboard. I neglected the vice that has been keeping me going for so long. Well, that is no longer going to be the case. No more literal hiatuses. No more relying on the excuse that “I have writer’s block”…none of that. I have a story to tell and day by day (maybe not EVERYDAY) …I will write! Stay tuned.
